10 May 2007

I KNOW THIS MIGHT ALIENATE A FEW OF YOU.... NAAAAH!

HOW MANY ENGLISH DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

1 - NUMBER OF GOBSHITES WITH A ROCK
1114 - NUMBER OF WHINGERS THAT WILL RING/WRITE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE BROKEN LIGHT BULB, AND THE SAME NUMBER TO RING/WRITE ABOUT WHY IT WAS FIXED!
8 - NUMBER OF POLITICIANS NEEDED TO FORM A COMMISSION OF INQUIRY TO ASCERTAIN THE WHEREABOUTS OF SAID LIGHT BULB
12 - NUMBER OF SENIOR PUBLIC SERVANTS TO DEVELOP A FEASABILITY STUDY IN RELATION TO THE BREAKING AND REPAIR OF LIGHT BULBS AND FURTHER ENHANCE SAID STUDY WITH COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS OF OVERSEAS APPROACHES TO THE PROBLEM
16 - NUMBER OF JUNIOR PUBLIC SERVANTS TO COMPRISE NEW COMMITTEE TO DEVELOP PARLIAMENTARY PAPER FOR SUBMISSION THROUGH SUB-COMMITTEE PROCESS
10 - NUMBER OF INDIVIDUALS DRAWN FROM DEPARTMENTAL , NON-GOVERNMENTAL ORGANISATIONS AND COMMUNITY GROUPS TO FORMULATE SUB-COMMITTEE PARAMETERS
6 - NUMBER OF SUB-COMMITTEES, MINIMUM 9 PERSONS, COMPRISING:-
  • FINANCE 'STARTERS FOR TEN'
  • PUBLIC HEALTH 'BRING THE P.P.E.'
  • SAFETY 'HEADS UP'
  • ENVIRONMENT 'DUCKS IN A ROW'
  • TRANSPORT 'THROWING TOYS FROM THE PRAM'
  • EDUCATION 'LIASE, LIASE, LIASE'

4 - NUMBER NEEDED TO BUY THE LIGHT BULB

3 - NUMBER NEEDED TO TAKE DELIVERY

2 - NUMBER NEEDED TO DELIVER THE LIGHT BULB ON SITE

1 - NUMBER REQUIRED TO CLIMB IN THONGS ONTO A WOBBLY BAR CHAIR ON TOP OF A DINING TABLE WITHOUT ASSISTANCE TO REPLACE THE OFFENDING GLASS ELECTRO-CONDUCTIVITY DEVICE [I.E. LIGHT BULB]

CLOSE? BETTER BELIEVE IT!

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